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Redefining Fatherhood

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By Willie Brown

Looking at statistics on absent fathers can make us feel there is no hope for the next generations.  How can we expect our children to grow up with healthy self esteem, without a trusted and respected male figure to help and guide them?

Women have proven their ability to thrive as single mothers, to raise amazing children despite doing it without a man.  But the truth is every child needs both a father and a mother in order to reach their maximum potential.

Of course, we’re not talking about just any old man—but one who is loving, kind, and compassionate about his children.  This does not have to be his biological children, however.  Surrogate fathers can be found in a number of places, including churches, nonprofits and after-school programs.

Denzel Washington has supported the Boys and Girls Club for many years, and credits the organization toward keeping him out of trouble.  After-school programs can be a big help for parents who can’t pick up their kids as soon as school is out.  Big Brothers and similar mentorship programs can be especially helpful, especially for women who are raising boys. 

Men have come a long way developing more positive attitudes and skills toward parenting.  These days more men want to be actively involved in their children’s lives—no longer content to sit on the sidelines and let mothers do all the  work.  Even if they are no longer in a relationship with the mother, they realize there is more to parenting than writing a child support check. It’s being there for all the highs and lows of raising their sons and daughters—from a child’s first step to their first romantic heart break, and everything in between.

So, in honor of Father’s Day, I’d like to give a big shout-out to those men who are actively making a difference in their children’s lives.  Those who support their kids with their time, effort, attention, and positive affirmation, aside from money.

Happy Father’s Day to every father and fatherly surrogate putting in the time and work required to grow positive, loving, well-adjusted human beings. 

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