By Michelle Lyons, Columnist
In 1995, Tupac released an album called, “Me against The World”. This hit home for many especially in the African American community because we were recovering from Generation X who was raised by The Baby Boomers (many who were on drugs). Both generations were individualist and naive to the fact that what happens to one affects all. Ironically, in 1992 Tupac got a tattoo “THUG LIFE” an acronym he explained meaning, “The Hate U Give Little Infants F****Everyone”. If everyone had unconditional love between birth to adulthood, how much better would The World be?
I didn’t understand how important love was until my twenties. In my late twenties and early thirties I only dated African men. I was drawn to them because of their family dynamic. I loved their families so much it would pain me to have to break up my relationship with them (The men themselves can often times be controlling). If my ex and I were in the neighborhood of his parents or siblings we would just stop by without calling. The first time this happened I was flabbergasted. He would say, “I don’t have to call they are family. In fact, they would be offended if they found out I was in the neighborhood and I didn’t stop by”. In my family, this for certain would have got me cussed out.
Christmas, Birthdays and Thanksgiving with my exes would be hundreds of people. He would say, “Because family is expected to be at every special occasions no matter what, whether you lived in Maryland or not (That’s where his family resided)”. If he were on hard times, someone would gladly take him in. If he needed money, the whole family would pitch in (like an offering at church) and if he were visiting from out of town it was literally disrespectful for him to stay at a hotel. No matter how much money or status he had he was expected to stay with his family if he was visiting and there was never a time limit. Family and God were understood to be more important than anything. I attribute this foundation to the reason his family and many immigrants excel in America, and for the same reason why many African Americans families are at the bottom of the totem pole in modern society because of our break down in family. Try marrying an African man, his entire family has to sign off and agree that you are The Queen deserving of this King and vice versa if it’s their daughter. How many of us have families like this? How many have families that will let you drive by unannounced? How many of us have families that will take you in if you are down wanting nothing in return? How many of us have families that will help you out financially if you are low? How many of us have families evaluating our mates making sure we are not blinded by lust heading to divorce or single motherhood? What is great about witnessing a great functioning family dynamic you understand what a dysfunctional family looks like. We like to blame slavery for the issues in the black community, but believe it or not we had families after Slavery. Crack-Cocaine, exploitation of women (b****** and hoes) and the individualism of generation x and the baby boomers are responsible for present day America. So how do we fix it? We can ask the government to fix it, but all they can do is put a band-aid on the problem. The solution has to be US; we have to put love back in society. God is Love and Women are also love, which is why it is so important that we love ourselves, and love and uplift each other because it’s our self-love (which I attribute to realizing you are The Glory of God) that will uplift our communities and ultimately uplift The Nation. This Nation needs to be hugged by our loving hands so it understands; “IT’S US AGAINST THE WORLD”.
